Many many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
'cause my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncin' baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For he he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter, who of course was my stepmother.

Father's wife then had a son, who kept him on the run,
And he became my granchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
(This has got to be the strangest thing I've ever seen)
As husband to my grandmother, I am my own grampa!

I'm my own grampa
I'm my own grampa
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
I'm my own grampa!

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